3 Minute Ideas – Breaking the Vulnerability Cycle

I’ve talked to you about the most effective way to observe yourself as a singer and how to talk to yourself in the most effective way.

In this third and final blog in this series, I’m going to talk about the vulnerability cycle.

Moving from the place where how you treat yourself can make your nerves worse, to a place where how you treat yourself actually helps you reduce your nerves, sing with more joy and improve the way you sing too!

Blog Transcript

- Hi, so today is the last of my three snippets from the Fearless Performer Programme, which is my online program, because I’m about to launch into my five day challenge, which is the big thing I do every now and again. And I take my Free Your Voice training and I run it live. And so you can have a conversation with me as I go through each of the five steps and answer all your questions. 

So if you haven’t heard about it or haven’t signed up for it yet, the link is in the blurb attached to this video.

So take a look and sign up, it’s a wonderful week. It’s been fabulous to run it. I think that this is gonna be the fourth time I’ve run it, which is really exciting. 

And that then leads into me running the Fearless Performer Programme as a group programme, which I only do once or twice a year. 

So what am I gonna talk to you about today? 

I’ve talked to you about nonjudgmental observation. I’ve talked to you about not parenting yourself. 

Today, I’m gonna talk to you about the vulnerability cycle.

Because the reason we use judgmental observation is because we parent ourselves, it’s a parenting voice. 

And the reason we parent ourselves is because we feel vulnerable. 

And we think that if we parent ourselves, we’ll get better and we don’t have to feel vulnerable. 

But as I told you last time, as we parent ourselves, we actually feel more like children, not less like children, and we actually therefore feel more vulnerable. 

Unsurprisingly really, because if you’re telling yourself you’re stupid, that’s gonna make you feel vulnerable and it’s gonna make you feel stupid, which makes you feel vulnerable. 

So that whole loop of judgmental observation, because we’re trying to parent ourselves, because we don’t wanna feel vulnerable actually makes us feel more vulnerable. And that’s the vulnerability cycle. 

We create this vulnerability within us by trying to cure it. 

So if you go back to nonjudgmental observation and adulting yourself, if you can step into the space where it’s all just interesting, where it is all just, that’s interesting, my voice is tight. That’s interesting, something’s going on with my speaking voice today that I’ve noticed. And it’s just interesting, it’s neither good, nor bad. It makes me neither a good singer nor a bad singer. Good at what I do, bad at what I do, it just is. 

And then I say, so what do I want to do about it? And it’s treating yourself as a wise, kind friend, as an adult, treating yourself with kindness, breaks that vulnerability cycle, because then you’re just looking at facts and trying to change the circumstances in a way that doesn’t bring about shame and that nasty feeling underneath. 

So thank you for listening to these three snippets. 

The others are still available. 

So go onto my website or my YouTube channel, and you will see them. 

And I look forward to seeing you, hopefully if you join me for my five-day challenge

All right, thanks for listening. 

Take care, bye-bye.

If you’ve liked what i’ve talked about today and like my way of looking at music and and performing, then there is a free training you can sign up for here.  

Thank you so much for listening