Can I get rid of my nerves when singing?

Sometimes we can think that we can’t change our reactions when we perform. That nerves and anxiety are just part of the process, but is this true? Can you get rid of you nerves when singing?

In this video I challenge this perspective and show you a different perspective.

Blog Transcript

Hello, I realise it’s been forever since I have done a blog or a vlog.  So, I thought it might be nice and as it’s so sunny, it’s lifted my spirits to hop on and do a quick vlog.  It’s something that is quite dear to my heart because it’s something that’s cropped up,  I’ve been mentoring at a local high school and a girl came in and we were talking about anxiety and we were talking about it and I asked her how much did she believe she could change and how much did she believe she could let go of her anxiety. 

Two things came up, one was a bit about the fact that she didn’t believe she could change, so she believed, although she might reduce it, that she couldn’t eliminate it.  And the second thing that came up was actually that it was a bit of an old friend and she wanted to hang on to it.  So those are two aspects and I want to deal with the first one today that whether we have the ability to change those traits that we feel are part of us like anxiety or nervousness or maybe the introversion that I have suffered with over the years. 

Let’s just focus on those aspects for the moment because essentially these are neural pathways, they’re just neural pathways in our brain, and what’s lovely about neural pathways is that we have a certain amount of influence over our neural pathways, and we can change our neural pathways.  The process of learning is all about changing and developing new neural pathways, so if we sit in a car, we look at it for the first time, never having driven, it feels overwhelming sometimes, all the different things that we are meant to be doing at once mirror, signal move over whilst doing stuff with our feet and I remember that feeling of my goodness, there’s no way I’m going to get to do these, all at the same time, and be able to concentrate on the road.  But sure enough, I developed that neural pathway for driving and now I get in the car and I end up in a place and sometimes it’s not even the right place because I haven’t been concentrating on where I’m going.   I’ve been concentrating on the road definitely but it’s amazing how it then goes into our subconscious and we just do these things because we’ve developed the neural pathway and it works the same with these processes and that’s what CBT is all about.

This anxiety, we might suffer from is about neural pathways that we have built.  Often its not and this is where the old friend comes in to protect ourselves and the irony is these neural pathways that we have designed to protect ourselves, and keep ourselves safe, are often what are causing the problems and making us feel unsafe.  So, we go into a situation and we can assume negative things that they make us feel nervous and what I love about life coaching is that we are starting to challenge those assumptions and when we challenge those assumptions and implement different assumptions, that make us feel better, but are equally credible, we can transform how we react, so instead of reacting with anxiety, we could react with excitement and there are studies that show that by changing the way we think, we can move from anxiety to excitement, from fear to anticipation, and for me what I wanted to talk to you today, and focus on today, is this capacity we have for change. This is a lifelong capacity, so it will go on till the day your brain stops that’s it and you can change your neural pathways until you’re 104, until you’re 106, until you’re 87, for any length of time you can, any length of life, you can change your neural pathways and so you can stay absolutely and thinking the way you do and if it serves you, wonderful if you would like to change the way you feel and the way you react in certain circumstances, all I’m saying today is that it’s possible!

You can and it’s about developing new neural pathways that at first may feel difficult and hard and a struggle, but the more you work at it the easier it becomes and eventually, if you keep working with it, it will become something that you are unconsciously super confident competent at all.

Right, thank you for listening and enjoy the rest of this wonderful day, I hope you’re having sunshine where you are. Bye-bye.