In this final video I will be teaching you how to use your current reaction to help you create a new and different response to making a mistake. One that puts you as a wise, kind friend, capable of getting the best out of yourself and avoiding future mistakes.
How can you avoid mistakes in the future? You can’t eliminate them, but you can make it less likely that you will make them.
If your current responses to mistakes doesn’t help, this way could really improve things.
Here’s the final video in this series:
Hello and welcome to the fourth in this series of videos on Dealing with Making Mistakes. As you can tell I’m not in my usual location I’m in the world’s emptiest room at the moment.
I’m Hattie Voelcker from Find Your True Voice and I’ve had three videos so far looking at how we normally react when we make a mistake, the reason we do that, the motivation behind that and whether actually we’re right in what we think it might achieve either consciously or subconsciously and today I want to talk about a different strategy for reacting well, rather than reacting, responding and this is the core of the strategy.
So if you know that your usual response is to beat yourself up or really acknowledge the shame of what you’ve done and how stupid you are or whatever it is or to run away and hide then this is your red flag this is you this is what you can look at and go hold, on I’m trying to keep myself safe here and by recognising that you can then get in between your thought and your emotional response to that thought and then your action.
It’s the, it’s what’s behind CBT, and then you can think so instead of beating myself up, running away, blaming other people or whatever your standard response is reaction is, instead of knee-jerk reaction reacting you can respond to what’s going on and you can respond as a wise kind friend and you can can go okay so I made that mistake, what was the reason I made that mistake and what would help me not make the same mistake in the future?
If it’s possible because it may be that it was some somebody else’s actions that triggered it to go wrong, it may be that it was you getting nervous in which case you can work on how to have a different approach to your nerves, it may be that you didn’t know the song as well as you thought you did and actually looking at how to learn the words or the music would help, it may be that you weren’t used to doing it with the accompaniment, in which case the solution is to practice it more with the accompaniment, but once you take away that judgmental response you then actually can start looking at a proper solution, but that judgmental response is a red flag that something’s up so use it and go hold on I’m reacting this way. Step outside it, look at it and treat yourself as a wise kind friend and start to solve whatever was behind the reason that the mistake happened or to acknowledge that there is no solution because sometimes stuff just happens.
Anyway thank you for listening I’m Hattie Voelcker and tomorrow I am running a free zoom class at 12 o’clock, it’s 12 o’clock on the 4th of May 2022 (so if you’re watching this afterwards, sorry, too late but there will be other things coming up I’m sure, just take a look at my website at findyourtruevoice.co.uk) I’d love for you to join me and I will be really getting into changing your approach to mistakes so that you can build a strategy that helps you when you make mistakes, not if you make mistakes, because sooner or later we all make mistakes and that’s okay.
Thanks very much for listening, see you soon, take care, bye-bye.
Have a lovely day.