The Transformation – Part 1

I quite often talk about transforming people into fearless, confident performers but how do you transform? In this podcast series I will take you through the process I use to create this transformation in my clients.

Each day for the next 5 days I will talk about a step in the process so you can create this transformation for yourself. In the podcast I also talk about my Fearless in 5 Minutes Audio. If you haven't yet downloaded it you can get it here: Fearless in 5

Podcast 10 Title

The Courageous Performer Podcast

The Transformation - Part 1

Here are the other Transformation episodes:

Read the episode transcript here:

00:04

Hi, I'm Hattie Voelcker. From Find Your True Voice, and welcome to this episode of The Courageous Performer podcast. This is actually the first in a series of five episodes that I'm going to do all about what I call The Transformation. Now, what do I mean by The Transformation?

 

00:22

Well, I talk a lot about transforming yourself from one sort of performer, to another sort of performer. From a performer that is self conscious and self sabotaging and overthinking, to a performer that's able to embrace the performance and really express yourself and connect with your audience. And you're probably listening to this podcast because there is something you want to transform about your performance.

 

00:51

Some of you may have already downloaded my fearless in five minutes. If not, I'll put the link to that with this podcast, because that's about transforming your mindset just before you go on stage, and there's a huge amount that you can do in those last five minute, five minutes just before you go on stage. But what I'm talking about in the series is a deeper level. It's about, as I say, a transformation, a transformation in the way you perceive yourself, your audience, and your performance that goes to a deeper level and makes you more confident and less fearful, more able to express yourself and connect with your audience, as I said.

 

01:36

And over the next five days, I'm going to be taking you through the strategy for this transformation that I use both in my fearless performer course and with one of my one to one clients where we go really deep, and really bed in a transformation and the patterns they use in their in their performing life and also in their everyday lives. Because what I tend to discover is that the patterns that are showing up in the way they are performing are patterns that are there in their everyday life. And the joy of that is once you change the patterns in the performing, you also notice changes in your everyday life life, because what is showing up in your performance is often like a magnification of something that's going on in your everyday life.

 

02:27

So you can then make changes in your everyday life that affect the way you perform changes in the way you perform that affect your everyday life. And it's this wonderful virtuous circle going up and up and up and you improve and improve and improve. And so how do you go from someone who overthinks self sabotage is suffers from real nerves and fear, to somebody who enjoys their performance, and really leans into enjoying their performance and connecting with their audience?

 

03:00

Well, the first part of what I'm going to talk about today is about your inner voice, because how you talk to yourself, is the most significant aspect of really nailing your performance. How you speak to yourself, can make or break your performance. And think about it this way, because if you think about when you were a kid, children don't really care about failing. So they talk to themselves in this very kind of positive way. You know, when a child learns to walk, they don't fall over and go, "Oh, gosh, that was embarrassing. I won't try that again." They, they really just keep trying and keep trying and keep trying, and they have this wonderful assumption that everything they do is brilliant.

 

03:49

I mean, I remember painting something, and thinking it was brilliant. And then it was put up against everybody else and I realised it wasn't as brilliant as I thought it was maybe, but I still had joy doing it. And there is all that joy that you have as a kid. When you get to being pre-teen and teen you start to have that self doubt you start to doubt your place in the world. You know, you start to compare yourself to others much, much, much more strongly. And this is where the self consciousness grows.

 

04:19

And then when we get to be adults, then fear and the desire to protect ourselves from humiliation, from looking stupid, from negative criticism can create these patterns in our lives where we stay small. And if you really understand how the dialogue you have with yourself impacts this, then this is the foundation of this transformation.

 

04:49

The next step is to look at understanding the reason you talk to yourself this way, but that's for tomorrow and that's what I'm going to be talking about tomorrow. For today I'm just looking at starting to really hear how you talk to yourself.

 

05:04

Now some people find this easier than others. Even if you're one of those people, like me, that finds it easy, I bet you underestimate how negative you probably are with yourself, I bet you don't really know how you talk to yourself. Because often we can avoid really listening, because we know it's negative, and we don't want to listen to the negative. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the message getting through. Now, there are different ways people have different ways of sending the messages to themselves. Some people hear a voice, some people really don't hear a voice, but still the message will be being transmitted.

 

05:44

And so start to hear the message, you may not hear a voice. But start to think about the sorts of messages you're telling yourself. When you're rehearsing, when you're practising, when you're prepping, when you're about to go in front of an audience, when you're about to go into a meeting or on stage. What are the sorts of messages you're telling yourself? How do you talk to yourself?

 

06:07

And then also the question, would you talk to a friend that way? And what would happen, if you chose to talk to a friend that way? What would happen to their self confidence? What would happen to the friendship? If you sent the messages you send yourself to a friend, and some of you may already know that you aren't particularly nice to yourself when you send your messages.

 

06:39

But you may not know how nasty you are, or appreciate the impact it has on you. Because I can't tell you how many people, although they say "Well, I would never talk to a friend like that," they go, "Well, I'm different," or "I need this, no, you don't understand." Because even if you do hear how nasty you are to yourself, and do see the impact it has on how you perform, you may also see it as a frenemy. As an enemy that actually somehow helps you. As a client of mine once said, "I worry that if I don't worry, I won't be as good as I am."

 

07:25

So there's a fear that without this negative voice, you wouldn't be even where you are. Although you know, the negative voice may be holding you back from achieving what you can really achieve. You fear that without it, you wouldn't be where you are. And I can't tell you again, how many times I've heard people saying I just want to find a balance. However, the strategy I use is not about finding a balance. It's about turning that enemy, not into a frenemy, but into a real friend, a wise kind friend, gaining an ally.

 

08:03

So using all the energy that your voice has, which is you let's face it, all of that energy that your voice uses to send you those negative messages, to send you messages that are useful and helpful, and will actually get you to achieve the success you want. So what we're talking about today is really tuning in to how you talk to yourself. Now obviously, in my Fearless Performer Course and my one to ones, we go a lot deeper into how this voice is talking. And what it's saying to you and what it's saying. But literally anyone can start to tune into this voice.

 

08:49

It's starting to tune, it's about starting to tune into the messages. As I said, the next step is to understand the reason you're doing this, but for the moment it's tuning in to the voice. And once you've tuned into the voice, think about it imagine talking to someone else that way. So number one, tune into the voice. Number two, think about what people would think of you how what you would think of yourself, if you talk to somebody else, the way you talk to yourself? Including the impact it would have on that other person if you spoke to them that way. What impact would it have on their self esteem? What impact would it have on what they thought of you? And what impact would it have on the friendship? And do you see them? You know, backing up their ideas as you want you to get better or do you see them shrinking? As you shrink?

 

10:02

And then I want you to think about the notice any resistance you have to the idea of letting that part of your messaging go. How do you feel about the idea of not talking to yourself this way? What do you feel would happen to you if you stopped talking to yourself this way? Because if you tune into the voice, think about how it would affect somebody else, if you spoke to that way, spoke to them that way, and then think about the impact it has on you. This is the start of really understanding what's going on for you.

 

10:47

Now, as I said, tomorrow, I will be talking about how we start to look behind the reason you talk to yourself. Now I've given you hints of the reason, but we're going to be talking about it more tomorrow, and how you can change your perspective, to change your relationship with that inner voice, which as I said, is YOU and then over the course of this week, so tomorrow is about your relationship with your inner voice, and I'll be taking you through each of the steps of the transformation over the five next five podcasts, which I'll be releasing each day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and you will get each step of the strategy I use to transform performers, and to help you lean into your fearlessness, rather than being overwhelmed by your fearfulness.

 

11:47

So thank you for listening, and I look forward to talking to you in episode two of this particular series. I'm Hattie Voelcker, from Find Your True Voice.