The Transformation – Part 2

In part 2 of this series we look at the dynamic between you and your inner voice, because the energy you expend in that battle is not only huge, it's unproductive. 

If you missed the first episode of this series you can find it here: The Transformation - Part 1

Podcast 11 Title

The Courageous Performer Podcast

The Transformation - Part  2

Here are the other Transformation episodes:

Read the episode transcript here:

00:04

Hi, I'm Hattie Voelcker, from Find Your True Voice, and today I'm talking about part two of my transformation strategy. So in part one, we talked about tuning in to your inner voice. If you haven't had, yet had a chance to listen to part one, I'll put the link to part one in this podcast blurb, and you can take a listen to that first, because it's a really important foundational step to the whole process.

 

00:31

Now today, I want to look at who your inner voice is....because it's you. I think you know that, but we don't always acknowledge that. Because sometimes we think it's just society and the way we think society will judge us. Sometimes it's a voice we've adopted from a parent or a carer or a sibling, or someone in our lives. It still is us, it still is you using that voice and it can be so tempting to get into a battle with our inner voice because it isn't, as you will have discovered, after listening to podcast, one episode one of this podcast, our voice is not, your voice is unlikely to be nice to you, your inner voice, it's so easy for it to be mean to you. But when we get into a battle with it, and we try and quash it, suppress it, tell it to go away, tell it it's wrong, we're actually getting into a battle with ourselves, and we're not going to win because we're actually getting into a battle with a part of ourselves that wants to have all the power. It wants to have all the power because actually, it's afraid.

 

01:50

And if you listen to how it talks to you, as you say, it's not very not, as I said, it's not very nice. If you hear how you treat yourself, you're not very nice to you. And it feels like an enemy that is talking to you. It feels like something you have to fight to get rid of, which is why there is a tendency for us to battle with it, for us to push it down, suppress it, tell it to go away, try minimise it, try and not think about it at all, which is also why it's so difficult sometimes to tune into the voice because we don't want to hear that voice. It's horrible to us.

 

02:29

But the reality is, it's you and it's not your enemy. It's actually your friend. It wants to help you. It has your best intentions, it's a bit more like a parent than a friend. And once you start to understand the reason it's doing this, the reason it's talking to you this way, the reason that it's choosing this way to talk to you can, everything can start to change.

 

03:03

And that's what I really dig into in my one to ones and my course, we look at not only what it's saying, but the reason it's saying it. And the reason it is so keen to help you in this particular way.

 

03:18

But put simply, the reason it's trying to help you and trying to boss you around is it doesn't trust that you will make good decisions by yourself. And when I say it doesn't trust, what I'm really saying is you don't trust yourself. At the core of your inner voice is a lack of trust in yourself, and unpicking that, unpicking the dynamic between you and your inner voice, how to change it, the reason it's there, and the reason you don't trust yourself, is key to this transformation.

 

03:57

It's also the reason you find it hard to let go of that voice. Because you're the voice. You believe that you are helping you by doing this. You believe that this is the way it works for you. You probably believe that you know it works for you because it's got you this far. The difficulty on that, with that is you've probably never tried any other method. Except perhaps indulgent. "Let's, I can't be bothered. I'm just going to lie here on the sofa, I can't be bothered." And that actually makes the voice even more nervous because it's like "If I don't beat you up and tell you tell you off, then you're just gonna lie on the sofa."

 

04:42

But there is a different way of doing things and it's that different way that is the key to it all. The key to changing the way, the key to change is changing the way you view your inner voice. Once you understand the reason it talks to you the way it does, you can actually start working with the inner voice, not battling against it, you can actually allow yourself to really listen to it without fear. Because you know, you have choice, to choose something other than it's suggesting, instead of layering pressure on to your existing fears, which basically just creates more fear, more anxiety, and resistance as well, you can create a virtuous circle where your inner voice actually helps you properly. Uses techniques that actually helps you, that actually help you and don't keep you small. I know it sounds insane, as you've probably been battling this inner voice for years, you've probably, it's been your frenemy for a very long time.

 

05:55

But the key is to change, is to the whole change is to change the way you view your voice. To understand it, to listen to it and that can feel scary, because you fear that if you listen to it, you'll do what it says. But if you truly understand the reason it's doing what it's doing, and the reason it's choosing the method it's choosing and the dynamic you have with your inner voice, you can start to choose a different dynamic. A more effective and valuable and useful dynamic to have with it.

 

06:31

That doesn't mean it won't ever go back to the negative. We go back to our old patterns. I've been doing this for years and I go back to my old patterns when I feel really vulnerable. But what understanding this dynamic and my relationship with my inner voice has given me is the ability to notice that and decide to do things differently. To notice, "Oh, look, I've gone back to my old pattern, what's going on for me what's going on for my inner voice?" And then I tune back into my inner voice. and we have a lovely conversation because we are friends now.

 

07:05

And so step one, tune in to that voice, dare to listen to what it's saying. Because as I said, that can be scary in itself. Step two, start to understand its motives. Step three, is to start to change the dynamic between you and that inner voice, so that you remove the battle, because I bet my bottom dollar that that battle is taking up a huge amount of your energy right now. It's taking up a huge amount of your preparation time, a huge amount of the energy before you go on, and a lot of headspace when you are in front of your audience.

 

07:50

And the difficulty is, the more headspace that battle takes up, the less headspace you have for actually performing, the less space you have for doing your thing and doing it well. The less the battle, the more headspace you have for focusing on what you're doing, who you're doing it to and how you're doing it. And so that gives you much a much better chance of doing it well. So, and it's interesting because often what I find is that the way people speak to themselves, is actually how they fear other people will speak to them, how they fear other people will judge themselves, judge them. And it's almost like you're getting the judgement in first so you feel defended. But actually you're creating the battle which creates the, takes up the headspace, which means you cannot focus your head is then filled with these critical thoughts or overthinking or trying to control as opposed to just focusing on the performance.

 

09:01

That battle can change with this process. With this process of hearing the inner voice understanding its motives and changing its dynamic. On top of that, we then layer what I would say is the most important ingredient for this transformation process and that is what I will be talking to you about tomorrow. There is one ingredient that not only helps you talk with your inner voice in a different way, view your audience in a different way and your material in a different way, but relaxes you and puts you in a neurobiological state that is better for not only performing but learning and that is what I will be talking to you about tomorrow.

 

09:52

For today, we're layering on top of yesterday's "Hear your inner voice" and hopefully today will make it easier for you to go back and try and hear your inner voice again today.

 

10:05

It's, as I said, it can be daunting listening to the inner voice because you don't want to feel overwhelmed, you fear that you will hear it and believe it, because you have believed it so far. But if you understand that it's on your side, it might be easier to listen to that inner voice, understand its motives, what is it, what are its reasons? And then start to change the dynamic you have with your inner voice, start to have a different relationship with your inner voice, and everything will start to change. Throw in tomorrow's ingredient, and this will become even easier.

 

10:44

So thank you very much for listening to this episode, which is part two of the transformation process, and tomorrow, we will have part three of the transformation process. I will see you tomorrow or you will hear me tomorrow. Bye bye.